MDV Mods 🌼 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mayorityvote) wrote2024-03-10 05:51 pm
mayorityvote) wrote2024-03-10 05:51 pm
Your New Life
Another New Life
You wake up to the sound of surf, much, much closer than you've ever heard it unless you moseyed down to Puffin Pier back in the old days. What old days...? Why, the days when you had a body, of course. The memories are probably coming back by now, jumbled along with everything else you lost. What a wake-up call.
But at least the ocean is real, unlike your dubiously fragmented remembrances. This little island out in the middle of nowhere sports a crude sign reading
Here, you're free, albeit... kind of incorporeal, as you'll soon find out. The island is covered in pretty little trees that don't quite form a forest, bowed over the really beautiful sandy beach that is way prettier than the one on the mainland. One, slightly rickety treehouse -- bare of anything, because incorporeal ghosts don't need furniture, of course -- peeks out from between the leaves. This is, apparently, your home away from home now.
Finally, there's a small bay-like area on the island that leads you to a strange-looking storm drain, marked with a symbol that's not-quite-an-apple. Stepping in will wash you alllllll the way back up to Puffin Pier, right where the sewers normally let out.
Oh, and once you step onto the mainland? You're now a duck. What kind of quacking afterlife is this.
((OOC: the tldr; about death is here!))
cw: child abuse/neglect, suidical ideation, grooming, animal cruelty, murder, etc (spoilers)
Dear Hinata,
Are you awake? Will you ask me my story if you do? It's quite a long story but...
"Daddy. Mommy. I am an unwanted kid. And yet you make meals for me. I am grateful for your kindness. Thank you for your meal." This is the prayer the woman who was my mother would make me say as I kneeled on the floor, over a single cup of ramen. Even as my father worried about what other people would think, she'd say, this was the only thing that would let her feel better and be a little kind to me.
I'd always been an unwanted child. Because of me, my parents missed work opportunities. My mother wanted to write a novel for a magazine, and father planned to work in a foreign country. For forever, I was told it was my fault. For being so quiet in my mother's womb they couldn't kill me in time. For this, I was a bad child.
Hinata, you were my reprieve, for seeing me that day. For asking to see what I was doing. To ask me to come to art class. I'd shamelessly asked them this request, and it was only because of you they let me. Because it'd make them look bad, if they didn't. Even though I was a burden and it would cost a monthly fee.
In any case, it let me out of the house so they wouldn't have to look after me. And as always, they'd hope I'd die in an accident on the way.
Even in a young age, I knew my parents would receive a lot of money if I died. Life insurance, I think it's called. That's why they always told me to die, because I was a useless child. But if I told anyone about it, they told me I'd be thrown away. So they won't throw me away, I had to make myself look happy on the outside. After all, if they did, I couldn't be with you. Drawing with you had always filled me with so much fun. And when I was with you and your family, they were forced to be gentle with me.
It was my greatest wish that I could go to school with you. I even begged, as I always did, kneeling before them, to let me enter university.
But they wanted to move to Hokkaido and take me away from you. They wouldn't even let me live alone by myself. They wanted me to repay all wasted on me. They never had intention of letting me go to university. I didn't want to be in that house anymore. I endured so much because of you, I—
[ The neat writing dissolves into unreadable scribble, full of anger and rage. It's roughly silhouttes of a man and woman. Translator device, you can just skip his shit. In any case, the writing continues again, a little shaky, but back to being neater. ]
In that time, was when Hakuraku-sensei had come to me, seeing me break down. He'd praised me for my talent, seeing a drawing, similar to this one. He told me to tell him everything, and I let down my guard for once, asking if he'd believe me, even if my parents would contradict what I told him. I was joyed, for that short time. To be believed, to be listened to, to help me. To have someone take my side.
He'd taken me to his home. And told me that since there's no evidence of abuse from my parents, because they provided me the necessities, because they didn't inflict violence upon me, I'd end up like a slave to them for my whole life. And then he used you against me, telling me, once I'm gone... you'd make a new best friend immediately, and you'd forget about me. As he intended, he drove me to want to die. And then, he whispered to me, not to die in vain, and strike back against them. He'd held my hand, and told me he knew a way for me to silence my parents and be with you forever.
I begged my parents to let me stay, at least for the summer of first year. So I could at least have fun with you. When I asked if you still felt the same... that you wanted to be with someone like me, you shone so brightly as you told me, it's because it's me that you wanted to be with me... I resolved to not hesitate anymore.
That summer last year, I killed them, in that house in Sapporo.
Hakuraku-sensei had come. He had been very excited. He was going on about how he wanted to teach people who had a shallow fascination of death that atmosphere. How I'd become an artist who understood death.
I can't say I regret it. It felt great. It feels great. They're gone. They're fucking gone! But I couldn't help but cry still. Because from then on, I couldn't be normal anymore. I'd become a monster.
Hakuraku-sensei reminded me the only way forward was the plan. The plan to make a painting with yours and mine's blood, so we could always be together. Then I could peacefully die with you.
He instructed me how to get rid of the bodies, and to focus on my masterpiece, the piece I'd been working on all semester, and how he'd be my patron of the art of death.
I was happy, even as I was thinking how I'd die with you. And making that piece. It's based on Caravaggio's last work. I'm sure you can look it up and see the resemblance.
But Hakuraku-sensei had attacked president and vice president, not wanting them to distract me, and it aroused suspicions in you.
But how did you really know about those things? You even made that installation in class after you... after you had come find me in that cabin. That cabin where I practiced... and tried to get used to it. Killing. You said you had smelled something like blood. I'm sorry to tell you, it was all the animals that I'd come across in that woods.
... How did you know to come to that cabin that day? Did you follow me?
And similarly, why were you in that house in Hokkaido? Why were you with that reporter? I was already in such a panic when I had stabbed him, fearing he'd come in, but you... you...
I never wanted to hurt you. I was so shocked that you were there. You were going to see how filthy I was. The sins I hid away. It was Hakuraku-sensei's fault. He should've been careful, he should've— [ More angry scribbling here. ]
It was over then. You'd condemn me. The one person who I never wanted to suffer. I couldn't even tell you about anything because I wanted you to keep smiling. Your smile, which was the only thing that kept me going. It ruined all my plans.
Hakuraku tried to get it straightened out, though. He said you hadn't seen my face. Is that true, Hinata? You really didn't see it was me? Did you know it was me anyway?
Though you and that reporter had lived, you'd fallen into a coma. You won't remember this, but I was by your side one day. I'd been... finding it funny how our classmates were trying to console me, the monster, who did this to you. But you said in your deep sleep, to not cry, and confide in me about the bad things.
I realized, my greatest fear was your condemnation. Even now, I imagine your condemnation, and I'm scared. My resolve weakened, and I decided not to die with you anymore.
But Hakuraku-sensei wouldn't have it. He told me I was being bad, ordinary, normal. He wouldn't tolerate it. He'd punish me.
So he put a knife in my hand, and pushed it into his heart. That's how I killed Hakuraku sensei. That way, I couldn't run away. That when he dies, I'll be identified as the culprit. And they'll find out about my parents. He wouldn't allow me to quit. He said, he'd become a part of my art.
He's in there now, in that wall. Just like that art installation you made. I exchanged our clothes, so by chance it'll be discovered in the future, it'll disturb the investigation, and they'll probably think it's me. They'll hopefully put out a funeral for me and bring out my painting.
If so, and you also awaken... then I can act.
But now, I don't really know what to do. You're still in that coma. And I've died here in who the hell knows where. I've been used again too. This time, by a woman telling me that you didn't have to know how ugly I am inside, when I couldn't even remember all that I've done. By giving me the illusion, we could have a new beginning.
What bullshit.
Does a monster like me even deserve a second chance?
Hinata, are you going to condemn me?
Yours,
Sora
save me please I miss you I just want to be with you without you life doesn't mean anything I[ He really can't show other people this. He wipes the tears that came unbidden away.
A monster doesn't deserve tears.]